"STADEMS LITE,"

With Some Food for Thought

Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?"

"Just a minute," said the busy clerk.

"Vell," said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."

************************************

Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?"

"No, I don't," said Ole.

"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.

************************************

Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"

************************************

Lars: "Ole, stant in front of my cvar and tell me if da turn signals are working."

Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No..."

From "On the Lighter Side" in "Uptown Pumpkin Center Coffee News":

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education (it is a "snob" among the vegetables?).

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

******************************

"Did you know?" in "Uptown Hayti Coffee News":

Some animals, such as jackrabbits and mule deer, have built-in air conditioning--through their large, floppy ears. Their ears are full of blood vessels, and as their blood passes through them, the heat radiates out, cooling the animal off. This is built-in Rabbit AC!

Rhubarb is one of the first vegetables to burst from the ground in the spring. The stalk is ninety-five-percent water, rich in vitamin C, and some studies have shown it may even fight cancer.

What did the carrot say to the wheat? "Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."

Why don't you ever iron a four-leaf clover? You might press your luck.

************************

"Quotable Quotes" in "Uptown DeSmet Coffee News":

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit."--Aristotle(a Norwegian genius living in ancient Greece)

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

A herring, that for many years swam along with a friendly whale, appeared one day without its companion. Asked where the whale was, the herring replied: "How would I know? Am I my blubber's kipper?"

"Success is the ability to go one from failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."--Sir Winston Churchill (who must have had some Viking Norwegian in his blood line to come up with such genius as this!)

******************

Plain View Heritage Home Page


© 2011, Butterfly Productions, All Rights Reserved to all Material and Formats Except Those By Other Parties Outside Plain View Farm and the Stadem Families